Holidays, Family, Team, Future

It’s the holiday season and I’m so glad to be surrounded by family. Some of my family is afar, but at least my dad and his wife are nearby. And of course my wife and son are right here!

As time goes on, I find that I’m more and more passionate about my family and spending time with them. It’s Friday evening right now. I’m very excited that it’s the weekend and I get to hang out with my son for two straight days. During the week, my wife or dad & his wife watch my son, since I’m doing work. There’s definitely a re-evaluation of priorities that seems to move forward to a new phase every couple of years. Work seems to be the same — it’s there and needs to be. Family always trends higher and higher on the priority list. My dreams… well, that’s complicated.

Anyways, with the holidays coming up and spending time with family, my heart is filled. God gave me two imperfect-but-amazing parents that did their gosh-darned best to raise me and pour into my life. I get to do that now for my son. And my wife is a better mother than I could have asked for. Being able to be present for these people is probably the thing I treasure most in this world. Oh, look at that… I’m tearing up!

As a family, we are a team. We are a very strong team. I’ll never fight for any team like I fight for this one. But that leads me to another item.

I recently started a new job and have quickly realized I’m on a team with a great leader and good team members. The role involves working with many other teams and building many new relationships, so I’m hoping I can fulfill the “call” to live up to my team’s vision. But I feel like I’m being poured into and built up.

My vision for the future involves me being a leader to others and I’m never quite sure how God’s plan for my life and my vision for it line up, but I know there are some fundamentals that absolutely do line up perfectly:

  • pouring into my family
  • pouring into others
  • giving to others
  • living as an example of relentless faith in Jesus
  • sharing truth as I am familiar with it
  • sharing my journey to spread encouragement and hope

What this looks like in the future and how the specifics come about, I do not know for certain. My hope is that God will clearly guide my next steps. Hope for the future comes from my certainty of God’s provision — He has never, ever abandoned me, and I know He never will. My prayer is that He will give me confidence to step out in faith for what’s next.

Here’s to yet another good weekend…


Good Weekend

Last weekend was awesome. I thought I’d be spending the whole weekend working on building or setting up a sofa we ordered on Wayfair, but we were pleasantly surprised on Friday evening when we received it and it was all assembled in two large pieces and just needed to be connected together.

We wound up getting so many other important things done around the house, and got that much closer to feeling “moved in”. I got to spend a ton of time focused on and playing with my son, which always makes me happy, because it makes him happy. In addition, we hung pictures on walls, cleaned up around the house, and got to enjoy the new sofa!

It’s now a week later on Friday evening and I’m just hoping that this weekend is as productive and enjoyable as last weekend. It’s definitely a blessing to be able to just spend weekends with my family. I know things will change when COVID-19 starts disappearing and there is a vaccine, but the home-centric nature of life suits me and my family so very well. I love being home!

Here’s to another good weekend…


Filling Body & Soul

Lately I’ve been thinking about the difference between things that fill the body and things that fill the soul.

For example, when I sit down, relax, watch some TV, and use my phone, my body gets filled. I get to relax, I get to zone out, and I get to do nothing productive.

When I play with my son or go on a family outing, my soul gets filled up. I get to fellowship, experience, and implore. My family gets to do the same.

Filling both the body and soul is important. They are different parts of our experience here on earth and I know God enjoys walking with us through it all.

I struggle with yes-no, this-that, black-white thinking. If one is good, the other must be the opposite. I often feel guilty about filling my body, but logically know I should not. It is just as important. Filling the soul, of course, is essential, too.

I want to feel comfortable here on Earth in this body. I’m a big fan of being comfortable. Somehow I want to fill my body and be comfortable, but also feel the aforementioned guilt about doing so. It’s a constant struggle to feel comfortable with feeling comfortable.

But today I’m happy and comfortable, feeling filled in body and soul. And I’m very thankful for days like today.


Intellectual Honesty

I’ve been having a lot of conversations with folks lately via the comments sections on Facebook posts. Getting out of this habit should be a priority for me, because engaging in conversation that way—especially when it’s about an emotional or closely-held topic—doesn’t make me happy or better off.

The conversations I’ve been having are mainly around issues that used to not really be things that are debated or questioned. One recent topic has been on the issue of presumed innocence.

There’s a lot of “trial by media” going on these days, where the outrage mob sees a ten-second clip on CNN and immediately determines what the “good guy” and the “bad guy” are. Inevitably, these feelings wind up in some folks’ Facebook posts.

My goal is usually to balance out the extreme outrage and vilification of whoever today’s outrage target is by calmly explaining to people that we should always presume innocence until we know the full story. It doesn’t matter who the target is or what they’ve been accused of doing.

It’s true of the 2014 shooting of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri, where the Obama Justice Department determined there was no wrongdoing on the part of the police officer involved.

It’s true of the Catholic, pro-life high schooler Nick Sandmann, who was vilified on every media platform, but turned out to be the victim in the situation.

In current events, presidential candidate and Former Vice President Joe Biden has been accused of sexual assault. He deserves to be presumed innocent until it is proven he is guilty, whether I like the man or not.

I’m beginning to wonder what the cause is behind some folks’ seeming inability to intellectually handle the result or output of their emotions. Even if one doesn’t like a person or doesn’t like what a person has done, getting to the point of finding that person guilty when one has no context on the story at hand is shallow, undeveloped, and beneath the operating capacity of human beings.

This makes me wonder if it all goes to a more spiritual level. Is it evil that brings people to the point of self-righteous judgement of others, despite any negative consequences the other will endure? Is it really the unhealthy view of oneself that needs to be built up in such shallow ways? Am I blindly doing the same thing, or am I more observant in some way?

Whatever it is, we need to always consciously fight for others to be treated the way we would want to be treated.


Living In An Apartment

We’ve been staying in an apartment for most of the time that we’ve been here. It’s worked out well, but we definitely don’t want to be in the apartment forever. The idea is to purchase a house that we’ll be in for the next three years, at least. However, the market is probably going to take a big dive. But we really want a house!

Buy now? Lose value soon. Don’t buy now? No backyard for my son to play in this summer. It’s lose-lose to the worried side of me.

We need our space and we need room for our son to play. Being cramped in a small apartment is not a long-term possibility for us.

Actually, speaking of long-term possibility, I was downloading backgrounds on r/EarthPorn yesterday, and saw a gorgeous photo.

The photo that made me realize I am destined to live on the beach.

This photo made me realize that I am destined to live on the beach. My wife and I love going to the beach, being on the beach, staying at the beach, vacationing to the beach… BEACH!!! So that’s the long-term plan…

But for the time being, we like the city we’re in and will be here for a while. We’ll probably buy a house soon, because we really, really, REALLY want to be settled. I hope things go well and we get a good deal and don’t lose too much after the market dips.


Social Isolation

It turns out I’m really good at isolating socially. I have my wife and son to be around at home, and that seems to be just right. Hanging out with friends occasionally is also very important, but it is something that can be put off for a little bit when the state unconstitutionally closes businesses and tells everybody to stay in their house, and China causes the world to crumble with SARS-CoV-2.

Working remotely has gone very well for the past seven years that I’ve done it. Fortunately my current role is a remote role. That’s worked quite well with the whole isolation thing. I’ve developed practices over the years for maintaining sanity and even thriving with such a life “workflow”.

In fact, isolating keeps me to a strict regimen of wake-work-play-sleep. Let’s just say I’ve been extremely productive at work and in my personal life over the past couple months. Even with living in a new place and not having local friends, I’m still able to interact with “remote” friends via Facebook, text message, and phone.

The productivity I’ve experienced in my personal life has primarily been centered around my son. I feel like I’ve never played with him enough, so lately I’ve been able to do that a lot more. Of course, the fact that he’s growing up means it is getting easier and easier to relate to him and what he wants to do. Run around the bedroom chasing him? Throw the bouncy ball with him? Build a fort with him? Those build him up, and they build me up, too. And often those playtimes are good breaks for my wife, who spends a lot of time hanging out with my son. Everybody needs a break.

All that to say… this social isolation thing hasn’t been very hard for me. But I know it’s hard for others. Here’s to hoping we don’t have to be “in lockdown” much longer…


Covid-19 (aka “Coronavirus”)

Covid-19, also known (improperly) as “coronavirus”, is what they’ve been talking about on the news a lot lately. It’s caused by a new strain of coronavirus called SARS-CoV-2. And apparently it’s going to make a lot of people sick.

First off, I’m very glad we’ve moved to the middle of the US. The first death in the US from Covid-19 was in Kirkland, Washington. It was at the hospital where my nephew was born, in fact. Frightening. Not being near where this is all starting in the US is helpful. Also, not being near the Cascadia Subduction Zone puts my mind more at ease than it used to be.

I had no idea how my tendencies to prepare would flare up now that this is happening and now that I have a family to protect. I’ve been reading, learning, researching… and worrying. Planning next steps and wanting to get supplies feels like the responsible thing to do, but I’m not sure it’s the right thing to do. We’re going to be moving into our new house in a few months and any extra things we purchase now are just going to have to be moved with us, too.

Fortunately, it seems that nobody under the age of fifteen has died from Covid-19, much less even gotten sick, so I’m guessing my son is good. That provides a modicum of comfort.

My tendencies to worry are currently getting the best of me. I feel like I should be able to trust Jesus more than I do, and then, of course, I feel guilty for not doing so. It’s frustrating when you feel like you can’t do anything “right”. All I want to do is make sure my family is okay.

Thus far, my mom, sister, brother-in-law, nephews, and niece are okay. It’d definitely be less nerve-wracking if they lived with us away from major population centers!


Back To Church

It’s been a bit hard to get back in the habit of going to church. After I get done working all week, it’s nice to have some dedicated time to spend with my wife and son.

When I think about going places, I mentally compute a high burden on the “getting ready”, “getting there”, and “getting back” parts. This probably leads to me staying home and being more of a hermit than I should. But it is the way it is.

Anyways, the time and effort required to get ready to go to a place is already high, plus I want to spend that time on something else, and so we haven’t been attending church. Of course the whole “sell your house, move to another state, start a new life” thing is a good excuse to get out of the usual routines for a bit. But I hold myself to a high standard and know that excuses are just that… excuses.

As this city has so much native and Spanish influence, there tend to be a lot of traditional (ie Catholic) churches. Finding something with a more evangelical twist is naturally harder. Combine that with the fact that my wife and I are fairly particular about the churches we like, and it’s obviously been hard to get back in the habit of going to church.

But I said I hold myself to a high standard. It’s sometimes a burden. But I consider it a blessing, mostly. Something God has put in my heart that’s always been a constant call back to Him. Some people don’t have it. I thank God I have it. It’s probably the most important thing God has given me.

Combine the aforementioned with the fact that I consider myself the leader of my family, and it’s quickly obvious to me that I am ultimately accountable for getting my family back in the good habits we need to be in. It’s been hard, but I think we’re actually going to attend a potential home church this morning!


Hello World!

Welcome to the launch of the journal of my journey!

I’ve had various web presences in the past… none of which were updated regularly or reflected what was currently going on. My goal is to actually update this with an entry every few days.

There’s so much to talk about, because there’s so much that goes on in my life. I’ve been more intentional about documenting what goes on in my life with a journal of daily accomplishments. My hope is that intentionality will carry over into this space as well!